A little overwhelmed

There have been many sad news since the past 2 months.
My childhood friend passed away in Dec 09, my 1st uncle passed away last week, and today, I got to know another sad news that my friend's dad passed away.

Death has been a topic that I avoid to write about.
Am I afraid of death? I know I am.

Conscious tells me that if I fear for it, I will live in fear.
But I can't help but wondering what was the last thought Haining has when the car hit? What was my 1st uncle thinking when he opened his eyes and looked around at his wife and children before he had his last breathe?

I still remember the car accident I had several years ago. When the car lost control and the steering turned to the road divider, I remember my mind was blank. Stunned. Shock. Quiet. So this is it. The next thing I knew was, I was in the hospital.

A few days ago, a current in the ocean took away the lives 6 school kids, one was their teacher. I checked out their FB and saw so many people mourning for them. I can feel their arching heart... cos I had this suffocating feeling when my childhood friend passed away.

I am just a little bit overwhelmed.